Nolan Church Shares Tips for Handling References When Leaving a Job on Bad Terms
Mending relationships before leaving can significantly enhance future reference outcomes and improve job prospects. Demonstrating self-awareness and honesty when discussing bad references can showcase personal growth to recruiters.
This essay captures insights from a conversation with Nolan Church, a 36-year-old former recruiter for Google and DoorDash, who currently serves as the CEO of Continuum, a talent marketplace for executives. The content has been edited for brevity and clarity.
About Nolan Church
Before founding Continuum, I worked as a recruiter for Google and later became the head of talent at DoorDash. Now, I assist in executive searches for pre-IPO tech firms.
The Importance of References
In hiring processes, I always contacted references and placed significant importance on their feedback during interviews. Typically, references fall into two categories: “front door references,” which candidates provide, and “back door references,” which may be contacted regardless of the candidate’s input.
Four Strategies for Securing References When Leaving Badly
1. Attempt to Mend Relationships
If you’re leaving a company and have conflicts with your manager, attempting to repair that relationship can be beneficial. Expressing sentiments like, “I was wrong, and I’m sorry. Thank you for your guidance,” can leave a lasting positive impression. Future employers may call this person for feedback, and a reconciled relationship could lead to less negative commentary.
People tend to remember sincere gestures, and how you conclude your time at a company could overshadow past disputes or performance issues.
2. Be Ready, Not Proactive
In case of a termination due to performance issues or a personality clash with your manager, it’s crucial to avoid leading with these negatives. Only bring them up if specifically asked.
As a recruiter, I might ask, “Is there someone I shouldn’t contact?” This often invites candidates to mention those with whom they had difficult relationships, showcasing their self-awareness. Recognizing that not everyone will appreciate you as you climb the career ladder is part of professional growth.
3. Approach Bad References with Honesty
When references raise red flags, I would probe deeper with follow-up questions to get a fuller picture. After understanding the reference’s viewpoint, I’d return to the candidate and ask for their perspective, emphasizing the value of honest discussion.
For instance, a good response might be, “My last manager and I had our differences. Here’s what transpired, how I could have done better, and what I’ve learned from it.” Candidates who demonstrate honesty and professionalism are often seen as individuals eager to grow and learn.
4. Choose References Wisely
If you can’t list your most recent manager, there are alternative references you can consider, such as past colleagues or leaders from prior jobs. Don’t overlook satisfied customers, especially in sales roles, as they can speak volumes about your performance.
Regardless of whom you choose, ensure they are aware they are being listed as references. It shows maturity and professionalism. If you know a person would give a bad reference, it’s best not to list them at all.
